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Sometimes you feel like a nut

I was the worst musician in our band, so they made me play tambourine.

I was the worst athlete in Little League, so they made me play right field

and gave me a tambourine, in case I got bored. Remember Duck Hunt,

how the dog would laugh when you hadn't killed anything? I feel

like he's laughing at me all the time. Permission to treat

this Jehovah's Witness as hostile, your honor? The world

and I went on one awkward date, and now

it just keeps calling me.