8/30

The Origin

As he walked to the preacher his eyes went wide--

He married the shotgun and marooned the bride.

They piled in the front of his cherry Chevelle
and honeymooned at the first clean motel.

Some called him a hero, and some muttered sinner.
The women would bring over casserole dinner.

And down at the State House, some obsequious Southerners
thought of throwing his name in the straw poll for Governor.

One by one, each hot dish and idea was rejected.
He then disappeared, which people respected.

He raised up a ranch on a camouflaged hill
and there he was killed by an exploding still.

He found Heaven lacking in liquor and porn
so he filled out the paperwork to be reborn.

In the box that read OTHER his response was queer:
"To serve God again, kiss girls, and drink beer."

Even the Lord had to think for an instant;
He pondered and furrowed His brow nonexistent

when the perfect idea occured in a flash:
And that is why Tom Selleck has a moustache.